bloody hell not again

Going to see mum and dad is nice but terrible at the same time. It's nice to see them, but it's terrible that they don't really realise I even exist. It's nice to visit them, but it's terrible to have to sit there while Gran socializes with half of Mungo's. It's nice that I'm there for them, but it's terrible that they don't even know I'm there to begin with. It's nice, but it's terrible. Today was one such day.

We get there, just like we do all the time, and we sit there for hours, just staring at them, with them staring righ back at us. It's sort of torture knowing they're there physically but not there mentally. They're just empty shells. How am I supposed to feel about that? Some times I just wish they'd move on. Is that also terrible of me to say? I can't honestly tell any more. It's been so long...

I just read in the papers about Justin. That's just awful. I mean. I thought these things were supposed to be over. Just the fact that I knew him from school makes it hit all the more closer to home. I mean. I wasn't best friends with him, but we were still mates. Gran says she's getting that strange ache in her bones again. I told her it was probably arthritis. She just scowls and tells me not to talk back to her.

Something good that came out of today though, I managed to go through an entire day at work without making something explode. I think that's progress. Then again, there was hardly anyone there today, because of what happened yesterday. Then, I went to go see mum and dad after work. That's how I found out about Justin, when I sat down to read the papers. Terrible. Please accept my condolences.







Trevor says hi.